Back to Church Sunday

SUNDAY 13th SEPTEMBER 2009  

9.30am Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Ararat

11.30am  All Saints, Willaura

More details coming - Check out Mission page 

Check out Back to Church Web Sites  www.backtochurch.org.uk  (UK web site)  and  www.backtochurchsunday.com.au (Australian Web Site)

We are a Church that is exploring fresh expressions of what it means to be church.

Read more about Fresh Expressions UK at  www.freshexpressions.org.uk and Fresh Expressions  in Australia at www.freshexpressionsaustralia.org.au 

Ararat from a glider showing main street and Anglican Church

Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Ararat

FJ joke for 28.06.09

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a big dent in that there pile."

So the foreman went away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he awasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get me self a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either."

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells "SUPPLIES"!!

FJ Joke for 21.06.09

A scientist finds evidence of an actual dinosaur, alive and living in the rainforests of South America. He campaigns several universities and succeeds in getting a grant to launch an expedition.

Several weeks pass and the expedition party stumble upon a 3 foot tall pigmy standing near a 300 foot long dead dinosaur.

The scientist approaches the pigmy and exclaims, "Dear Lord! Did you kill this dinosaur?"

"Yep!" replied the pigmy.

"But, it's so big and you're so small!"

"Yep!", replied the pigmy.

"How the hell did you kill it?" inquired the scientist.

"With my club," replied the pigmy.

"How big is your club?" demanded the scientist.

The pigmy replied, "Well, there're about 50 of us!"

FJ Joke for 14.06.09

A priest rushed from church one day to keep a golf date. He was halfway down the first fairway, waiting to hit his second shot, when he heard the familiar "FORE!" and a ball slammed into his back.

Soon the golfer who had made the drive was on the scene to offer his apologies. When the priest assured him that he was all right, the man smiled. "Thank goodness, Father!" he exclaimed. "I've been playing this game for forty years, and now I can finally tell my friends that I've hit my first holy one!"

FJ Joke for 07.06.09

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

Q:            Why were there no worms in the apples on Noah’s ark?

A:            Because they all came in pears

FJ Joke for 31.05.09

 A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand pounds, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'